Tag Archives: sad

There and back again…

Well, it turns out I forgot I had a blog, which would explain the months of no posting.

The point of this blog was to document my journey back to normal, or finding my new normal, and for a while I thought I found it.

My neurologist had me taking all kind of medication that made me feel like I was constantly in a brain fog, but my migraines were getting worse.  Her only suggestion was to up the dosage until I was on double the normal dosage… so I said “fuck it” and I spoke to another doctor about weaning me off those pills.

When I stopped that medication, I increased my water, magnesium, and I also got rid of a lot of my chemical products, so my shampoo/conditioner/soap etc was all natural/organic and scent free (BTW – super expensive) and I was using essential oils daily for my migraines and anxiety.  And then I had a great month.

I had fewer migraines, I had more energy, I was less anxious and depressed and it was AMAZING.. my life was almost back to normal (except for the still unemployed part) My sister had a baby and I was able to help her out the first few days my niece was around (My sister had a C-Section and it was hard for her to move around). I felt like I was being useful.  Then about two weeks ago – the shit hit the fan.

I live in Southern Ontario where the weather is often a crapshoot. We had several days of the weather going from -12 (celsius) with blizzards in the morning to +11 and sun shining in the afternoon, to rain all night. All the changes really messed with my head and my migraines started up again.  I had to miss appointments, and a good friends baby shower (which was today) and now I’m back to where I was before.  Only on less medication, and so more aware of the fact that life just got real shitty again.

Now that I remember that I have this blog, I’ll try to remember to update it more frequently…Happy Saturday Night, hope you are all having more fun than I am…

I also decided to share a picture of my panda trying to do a BINGO scratch card..

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Anger

I’m angry.

Anyone else angry with their situation or journey?

Today mine has made me angry.

I do everything the doctors tell me to do (wake up at the same time, go to bed at the same time, don’t skip meals, don’t drink an excess of caffeine, eat protein immediately upon waking up, and take the hand full of pills I am required to take)

I practice mindfulness and I try to keep active and yet still, day after day, hour after hour… Migraine.

I think I might be growing though. Normally it makes me sad/anxious that I have this constant pain that makes it impossible or me to do anything… Today I am angry and furious that I can’t do anything. That its garbage day, but even with my sunglasses and hat its too bright outside for me to take out my garbage.

Today I am angry that once again, my house will remain a mess, because every time I move it feels like my head will explode, and I can’t have that pressure.

So today, I am angry. Anyone else got any feels?

(I couldn’t spend the time to find a picture of anger.. so instead I hope you enjoyed the picture of my teddy bear hoarding the chips)